Coconut Village - The Most Random Tourist Attraction in Hoi An

I arrived at my hotel in Hoi An just after noon on an extremely hot day, at least it was for me. It was over 40 degrees Celsius and I was very grateful for the fans and air conditioning around me. When we told the hotel staff that we intended to go on a tour to My Son, she told us that it would be very very hot and suggested that we take a tour to the Coconut Village later that afternoon instead. Her words were, “Asian people really love it.” The Coconut tour was relatively cheap, it cost $300,000 Dongs, roughly $17 CAD and would include pick up and drop off at our hotel and a bottle of water. We thought it would be a cute, relaxing cultural experience and a boat ride along the river should help us stay cool. Seemed like a nice way to start our Hoi An leg of the trip.

At 3:00 PM, we got picked up in an SUV, along with a family of 4 and started our 15 minute ride to the Coconut Village. When we arrived at the village, we got out of the car and was lead away by a local guide. The local guide took us to a bamboo shack where there’s a small “dock” with a steady stream of round boats coming to the dock and picking up tourists. There were two passenger and one rower to each boat. Each of the boat was equipped with bamboo cone shaped hats and a very large umbrella. Use the hats. They have metallic lining inside and reflected a lot of the heat away from my head. At first, the tour was exactly what I imagined. It’s a cute, maybe a bit touristy ride along the river. I did a tour of the Mekong Delta and this seemed about the same except the boat is round. Right?

As we paddle into a smaller stream, we started literally bumping into other boats. It started getting quite crowded and had the vibe that this is less of a relaxing ride and more of bumper cars on water. At one point, the entire stream was filled with boats. What have we gotten ourselves into? Is this what happens when we go with a cheaper tour?

After a few minutes, we exited the smaller stream and came back to the main river. Our paddle boat lady ‘parked?’ our boat to the side of the river and handed a “fishing rod” comprised of a short stick with a string and a small piece of worm tied to it. I was not really sure what I was suppose to do with it but I could see the kids from my tour group trying to fish for crabs along the muddy banks. I guess I’m crab fishing? Meanwhile, the lady was making headbands, glasses and rings out of coconut leaves for us. At this point, we noticed that music was blasting all around us. There were huge speakers hooked up to the banks of the river and there was a large crowd gathering a few meters away from us. After having our fill of hermit crab fishing, especially when I flung a crab into our fellow tour member’s boat while trying to put my catch into the crab bucket, resulting in the mom screaming and frantically looking for the crab, our boats started to move towards the commotion. In case you’re wondering, the mom and child was fine. The boat peddlers told them to just ignore the crab. I guess the crabs only bite decaying flesh/worms.

As we moved closer to the commotion, we could see this man doing tricks in one of these boats, spinning around in top speed. When he was finished, all the boats closed in on him while he waved around bills of dongs (Vietnamese currency). The other boat operators encouraged their passengers to hand bills to him. Past this man, I can see another group surrounding a man on a platform doing more tricks, flanked by what I can only describe as his two hype men, exclaiming and cheering every time he did something. They collected cash from the audience and I can’t help but think of the scenes in Magic Mike…We sat there in awe and disbelieve of what we were seeing. Not exactly the quaint village boat ride we had imagined.

The entire tour/boat ride was under 2 hours and I would say it’s definitely worth a visit. I would describe boat ride as Las Vegas meet Magic Mike (without the nudity) meet tropical village. Not something you would expect and it’s definitely an experience. I will end with two pieces of advice and a video: 1) Don’t throw crab into another boat - that lady spent the rest of the boat ride looking for the one inch crab, and 2) Buy the coconut once you dock because you can load it with ice and it’s SOOOO REFRESHING! I am sorry about my partner yelling in the background. Like the audience in Magic Mike, he just couldn’t contain himself.